January, 2008

Note from Penny Apollaro, LCSW

Hi Parents,

I am so happy that many of you have been able to make it to our Parents’ Support Group over the last couple months – this includes the dads who have joined us – you, too, are a very important part of our group! 

In October, the group focused on balance within the family.  Our courageous parents participated in family sculpting / psychodrama to illustrate the balance and imbalance in their relationships and to discover some ways to restore balance.   This experiential approach is designed to be fun and enlightening – providing a unique way to look at ourselves and “where we’re at” within our family.  Striving for and/or maintaining balance – so that parents are the co-leaders or “co-captains” of their family team, communication is clear, assertive and open and listening is active, support and nurturance are given and received, rules and boundaries exist with some flexibility, emotions and feelings are accepted and shared as is reality – is the challenge.   And, it is a particularly difficult one for parents of children with autism or other Pervasive Developmental Disorders where the child or children can become the main focus of the family – dominating the needs of the parents – especially the main caregiver….

So, in November and December we are focusing more on individual needs of the caregiving parent (which includes moms and dads).  There are many needs including but not limited to – a need to tell your story or your reality, a need of acceptance of that story or reality, a need for support of feelings and emotions as well as resources to help your family and child, a need for boundaries to separate oneself from your child/children and  to separate one’s emotions, feelings and behavior from oneself, and a need for coping skills (i.e.“time-in” and “time-out”) to create balance, relieve stress, etc.

To help address these needs, the support group members are sharing parts of their stories and realities, sharing some of their feelings and talking about stress and coping, and practicing and learning relaxation techniques.   This holiday season, even more so than usual, you will feel pushed, pulled and stressed.  Practicing taking “time-out” for relaxation -  either with a progressive muscle relaxation exercise, a guided imagery exercise, or a meditative exercise can help take you out of an aroused, stressed, “flight or fight” state to a more balanced, normal, relaxed state.  And, this change of states will allow your body and mind some recovery time to heal and then better cope with everyday stressors.  You should find that you feel healthier, are more pro-active instead of reactive, that you can moderate your emotions and hence control your behavior, and that you can achieve (if even for a moment) a sense of calm among the chaos.

For an example of a progressive muscle relaxation exercise please visit:  www.tenzone.u-net.com/psych/pmr.htm .   Try adding your own favorite relaxing music.  You can also find guided relaxation cds and tapes in the self-help section of your bookstore or online.  And, join us on February 29^th & March 28^th from 9:45-10:45 AM  for our next Parent Support Groups at our new location:

870 S. Denton Tap, Suite 500 – parking in the back, entrance is on the north side of building.

Take time out for yourselves and have a happy new year,

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