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September, 2006
Tips for Parents
by Becky Lowe
For
most of us, September means Back to School. I
recently ran into another mom in my district that
has a child with autism. We both laughed about how
we were so excited and happy that the kids were back
in school. I stood at the bus stop on the first day
and was ready to bust with happiness! Now, that may
sound mean to other parents, but we understand how
hard it is for our children to be off their routine
and then looking for new (and sometimes crazy)
things to occupy their time with during those long
summer days. So, I thought I would come up with a
few ideas for us, the parents, to do while our kids
are at school.
-
Take a few minutes every day to just relax and
collect your thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I
am running all day long (rearranging the deck
chairs on the Titanic…). If I don’t take a few
minutes every day for myself, I may have to
check myself into the loony bin! I love to
read…Katie also loves to read and I hope this is
a passion she and I can share. Katie has gotten
into the habit of going to the library every
Monday after her home-tutoring session. She goes
for three movies and two books every week. I go
for the fiction and the romance novels.
-
Educate yourself! Do your research and learn all
you can during the school day without
interruptions.
-
Communicate with your child’s teacher via e-mail
(if available). I have found e-mail to be a
great way to stay in touch with all of Katie’s
teachers. When I am at the school to pick up the
kids or drop something off, I usually catch a
teacher off guard and they do not have the time
to answer my questions. But, if I e-mail, the
will usually answer my questions when they have
the time and they have the correct answers!
Also, e-mail gives you written communication so
that if your child’s teacher says they are going
to do something, you have it in writing that
they will do it!
-
Volunteer at your child’s school. As the old
phrase goes, “You get more flies with honey than
you do with salt”.
-
Join a support group. When Katie was first
diagnosed, I truly felt like we were the only
people in the world going through this. Our
Neurologist diagnosed her within 45 minutes and
sent us on our way. We had little information
and did not even know where to begin. I realized
that my Yahoo search engine could only get me so
far and I had no one in my life that understood
the pain and loss that I was experiencing. I
finally reached out to other parents who had
children with special needs, not necessarily
autism. I was relieved to find that my feelings
were “normal” and that life would get better.
-
Find a hobby or do something for yourself. We
all know that if we do not take care of
ourselves, we will be constantly running on “low
fuel”. A few years back, as a sat in the office
of one of Katie’s doctors, I realized something.
I had just finished explaining to the doctor all
of Katie’s issues and my concerns. By the time I
was finished with my list, I was crying
uncontrollably. The doctor finally looked at me
and said, “Now, what about YOUR list!” He was
patient with me and explained that the list
looked worse than it really was. He told me that
if I did not get help for myself, whether
psychiatric or something else, I was going to
burn myself out and would be of no use to
anyone! I left his office and immediately
contacted my physician and set up a complete
physical. From there, I realized I needed to
start taking care of myself. If I spent all my
time being angry and bitter, I was not going to
be a very good mom nor was I going to be patient
enough to deal with Katie.
I guess
the most important thing I can say is to do things
for yourself. Be a little selfish. We spend so much
of our time doing for others it is important to
remember that our health and well-being is a
priority. If you get respite hours from your county,
use them to take a short break! Do not feel guilty
about having someone help you! Our lives are not
easy! Take time to enjoy your friends, stay healthy
and relax.
Becky Lowe
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