May, 2007

Parenting Tip

“Primed for Success”

By Kyla L. Doyle

 

 

I still recall the panic I felt when I received the brightly colored envelope addressed to my preschool-aged daughter in the mail.  It was her very first birthday party invitation.

Kate, who was diagnosed with autism at age two, was then three and a half and in her second month of fully inclusive preschool.  She was doing quite well—learning the classroom routine and the names of her classmates, so she could greet them when she arrived each Tuesday and Thursday afternoon.  Since then, with a class of just 9 other typical children, two wonderful teachers, and experienced aide support, Kate has flourished.

However, as well as she was doing, I was still nervous about how things might go in the noisy, chaotic and unfamiliar environment that would be a four-year-old  birthday party.  Since I had no idea how she might react, I decided that we would PRACTICE.  A few days before the scheduled party, I took Kate and her older sister to do a “run through” at the party location—a large warehouse filled with “jumpy” slides and large inflatable bounce-houses.  We found that things went fairly smoothly, aside from needing to buy “special socks” for Kate to motivate her to wear them (bare feet were against the rules).  When the day of the party came, Kate was familiar with the new environment and had already learned how to use all the equipment without much help.  She kept her socks on and sang along to the “Happy Birthday” song, which we had been practicing with her all week.  Afterwards I was so excited for Kate—she had “done” her first birthday party and was a shining success, blending in well with her typical peers!  Since then, Kate has attended several more birthday parties and has enjoyed each one.

 

We have learned that this approach to potentially more difficult skills or situations—sometimes called “priming”—has helped Kate to be more prepared, and thus find more success in her more challenging new endeavors.  Here are some other ways we have used this technique with Kate.  Hopefully these examples with help you come up with ways to encourage success with your own child!

 

●  Class Field Trips--  Kate’s first class field trip was to the local aquarium.  By making the trip in advance, Kate was not only comfortable and familiar, but had remembered the names and several bits of information about each of the fish and sea creatures, which she was then able to comment on and share with her classmates as they walked through the exhibits.

 

●  Story Time--  Our local Barnes & Noble has “story time” for young children on a weekly basis.  By taking home the list of upcoming stories for the month, I was able to purchase or check out the books that would be featured at future “story times” and read them to Kate in advance.  Because she tends to be more interested in stories that are familiar to her, this helped Kate pay more attention during this large-group activity (something that has been a challenge for her in the past).

 

●  Religious Services/Sunday School--  I have been able to ask the Sunday School chorister for a list of songs that will be used during the month so that I can teach them at home.  Kate enjoys music, but is more likely to participate and attend when she knows the words to the songs.  I also volunteered to be her Sunday School teacher and am able to expose her to the concepts and activities contained in the weekly lessons beforehand.  By doing this, Kate is able to answer questions during small group discussions and is less likely to “tune out” because she doesn’t understand the material.  This also helps her peers to view Kate as a competent, participating member of the class. (For those who aren’t able to be their child’s teacher, asking the teacher for a copy of the Sunday School lesson manual or lesson topics to keep at home will help you to teach things in advance)

 

● Turn-taking games and play dates--  Kate has been taught to play several age-appropriate turn-taking games ( i.e. “Don’t Break the Ice” and “Cariboo”) during her home ABA sessions.  Often we bring a couple of Kate’s favorite games to preschool or on playdates in order to provide a fun, structured opportunity for social interactions with peers.  Her aide or therapist often facilitates these games with her young classmates, to keep the game moving and fun.  Kate and her older sister play several games without needing any adult supervision, giving me an occasional break from my role of Entertainer and Referee.

 

While it may seem like a lot of effort and time to do these things, I have found that the extra effort is well worth the pay-off.  None of us likes to get thrown into a situation or challenge that we are not fully equipped to handle—neither do our kids.  Our ability to give them the tools and experiences that will help them face everyday challenges can make all the difference.  This concept has also been shown to be effective for older children in with both academic and social skills.  It is important to have good lines of communication with the people in our children’s lives (teachers, church leaders, scout masters, etc) so that we can work with them to prepare our children for success whenever possible.  Of course, we can’t predict or practice for everything, but when we can, these positive experiences can be used as confidence boosters and building blocks for mastering new skills in the future.


 

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